


Shadow of a Doubt

by ziamsquad



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Malec, i wanted to see more interaction after the Suicide incident, se02ep8, this is so shitty i just had to write something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 04:27:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9862574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziamsquad/pseuds/ziamsquad
Summary: this is along the lines of what i would have liked to see after magnus saved alec





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is so rushed i apologise, let me know what you think (tumblr: @zrdu)

All Magnus wanted out of tonight was for the Lightwood family - specifically Maryse - to accept that he was a significant part of Alexander’s life. That, of course, is not how smoothly his life works. It took him far too long to put the pieces together and realise what was happening in his home, it made sense how absurd Simon was behaving and the manic anger lacing Clary’s actions.

He was amidst another warlock who was deliberately messing with his friend’s minds. If he had paid more attention earlier he wouldn’t currently be kneeling in front of an unconscious Maryse and enchanting healing spells over her still body.

“Don’t help her!” Jace shouts, his face glistening with sweat and his eyes wide; a hysterical set to them. “She tried to kill me! Get away from her, Magnus!”

He tries to remain calm as he recites spells, the words fall easily off his tongue due to the continuity of morbid situations like these. “Isabelle, calm him down,” He says, hoping no one notices the tremble in his voice, “You’re all under a spell, I’m trying to fix this.”

He glances at them quickly, sees her rubbing her brothers back in reassurance as he takes deep unsteady breaths. “She threw a dagger at me!” He continues to wail, Magnus ignores him and focuses on the task at hand.

Maryse’s eyes flutter open, and he hopes saving her life helps her approve of Magnus and Alexander’s relationship. He sighs in relief when she gasps out a breath of air and lifts herself from the ground making sounds of confusion and pain.

He’s just about to open his mouth and ask her if she’s alright when he hears is. Clary’s voice sends a shard stab of pain in his chest, her words so full of fear he feels lightheaded.

_“Alec, no!”_

His body moves before his mind does, and before he can even comprehend his actions he’s running out the bedroom and pushing past mounds of guests. The second Magnus rips opens the door his heart drops from his chest, threatening to rip out through his throat.

Alexander stands perfectly poised on the edge of the roof, and takes a single step back.

He doesn’t feel his limbs moving but he watches in morbid fascination at his own arms that are stretched out front of him. There’s a stream of blue light shooting out from the palms of his hands and engulfing Alexander’s body, lifting him mid-air. He looks angelic, Magnus thinks, surrounded by the black night and the glistening lights of the city, his eyes fluttering closed. He lets out the breath of air he was holding and raises his arms higher to lift Alexander over the ledge, and gently places him on the ground,

The bubble of silence his mind created breaks suddenly and nothing is in slow motion anymore. He hears everyone shouting words but his mind is chaotic and nothing makes sense to him.

“Nobody moves until I get back.” He orders, his voice thick. He runs downstairs for his spell book, which was carefully concealed and protected from anyone else’s reach. He flicks through the pages hurriedly while running back to the roof, searching for any incantation to remove hallucinations.

He reads out the spell he sees, as he stumbles out the door, his hand hovering over his group of arguing friends. He feels the spell break, the tension in the air dissolves within a second and everyone stares at each other wide eyed.

He hears several “I’m so sorry’s” but his eyes are focused on Alexander, who stares back at him. He rushes to his side and kneels on the floor beside him, as Alexander chokes back a sob and drops his head on Magnus’ shoulder.

“Hey -hey, come on now, you’re all right.” Magnus croons, trying to keep his voice from shaking. His body is still rushing with the adrenaline from watching his boyfriend almost fall to his death. Alexander’s body trembles in his arms, and Magnus shushes him with his façade of calmness. “Look at you, all in one piece.” He whispers.

“Alec, please -I’m so sorry, nothing I said was true, nothing was your fault-“ Clary cries, her hands grabbing his arm. Everyone bustles around them, trying to get their bit of comforting in.

“I’ll take care of him, everyone go downstairs and see off the guests.” He demands, a tone of finality in his voice.

It takes a while for everyone to leave, chancing their last glances back at the two of them. The roof is silent, finally, with Alexander’s head propped on Magnus’ chest as they sit on the cemented floor.

He strokes his hand through Alexander’s dark hair, pressing his fingers firmly against the other boy’s skin to make him aware of his presence.

“Thank you,” Alexander manages to choke out, “You saved my life.” There’s tears staining his face and it hurt’s Magnus’ heart to see the other boy in pain. He knows all too well what the hallucinations do, they feed on a person’s weakest insecurities until it drives them crazy.

“I would have died.” Alexander says, his voice raspy.

“I would never let that happen.” Magnus whispers, his hand holding the other boys jaw. “You should know that.”

It’s driving Magnus crazy. He tries to comprehend the fact that Alexander’s weaknesses could ever lead him to taking his own life. His heart hurts when he pictures his boyfriend at his weakest moments.

Magnus wants to hold it in, he truly does but the reality of what almost happened starts settling in. He sees the pain on Alexander’s face and fear and anger of almost losing him boils inside. They talked about this, he promised Magnus that he wouldn’t lose him.

“How _could_ you?” Magnus says, all the hurt and anger inside him spilling into his voice. “You promised me I wouldn’t lose you Alexander.”

Alec stares at him, dumbfounded.

“If you were feeling this way, why didn’t you tell me?” He demands, standing up to face his boyfriend. He tries to keep his anger from defining his facial features because he can see it’s scaring Alexander, but it’s all too much and too sudden. “I would have been there for you!”

“Magnus,” Alec tries, his eyes wide and glazed with tears. “I was scared, I wanted to talk to you but-“ He cuts off, his voice cracking as a tear slides down his cheek. “It’s so hard. I couldn’t burden you like that.”

Magnus stand a few metres away from him with an aching lump in his throat. “How could you be so selfish!” And he knows this isn’t about him at all, but all he can think about is losing Alexander. This is about Alec dealing with things that could lead to suicidal thoughts, no about the permanent hole that would be left in Magnus’ heart if he were to ever take his own life. The only selfish person was himself.

Despite this, Alexander still manages to apologise. “I’m sorry Magnus, im-“ He stutters out wiping away the moisture on his cheeks.

“Don’t.” Magnus stops him abruptly, pinching the bridge of his nose and waving his other hand dismissively towards Alec. “Stop.”

Alec stares at him, his soft hazel eyes glistening under the moonlight. He looks confused, hurt, and Magnus can definitely say that it’s the most emotion the other boy has ever willingly shown him.

“Don’t apologise.” Magnus says. “I should have known how you were feeling, it’s not an unnatural response after everything that’s gone down.”

“I know no one blames me,” Alexander says, his voice softer than before. “But it’s killing me Magnus. I can’t control -it’s _killing_ me.” He squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing his palm over them.

“I want to be there for you, I want you to trust me.” Magnus replies gently, “I’ll always be there for you.” He closes the distance between them, “Come here.” He whispers, tugging the other boy closer and holding him by the back of his neck. “You’re okay.”

He feels Alexander’s arms wrap around his waist and he relaxes into the touch, breathing in his scent. “Thank you Magnus. For everything. Think that doesn’t get said enough to you.”

Magnus lets out a breathy laugh. “You’re very welcome. Now how about we go downstairs and see if your mother still wants to mince me?”

Alec smiles lopsidedly, “It’s not about if my mother likes you. I like you.”

Magnus smiles back, soft and warm. “I like you too, Shadowhunter.”

 


End file.
